Khutbah delivered by Sh. Ibrahim Ezghair on Friday 2/26/2010
Listen to the Khutbah:
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Text of the khutbah:
The subject matter of today’s khutbah is of special sensitivity. It may be uneasy for me to elaborate on certain aspects. It may also be something that certain cultures may consider as taboo. One may not be able to talk about it even indirectly.
However, due to these reasons people almost never bring the subject up except in anonymous letters sent to the Imam, or a question to a website. The subject is pornography. I will be very careful in tackling this issue inshaAllah. I ask Allah to enable me to make you understand its dangers and how it ruined a lot of marriages.
So many sisters all over the Islamic world have complained about this phenomenon in their homes and how their intimate marital rights have been almost completely neglected, not to mention the rights of other members of the family due to the ample of time the husband (and the father) is spending at the computer browsing dirty sites. One sister said from the time he comes home at 4 pm until 1 am he is with his computer, what has he left for his family, his wife and even Allah?
Some may wonder: “what’s the big deal?” And how is it harmful?
Let’s hear from the experts before we handle the issue from an Islamic point of view.
Some time in 2004 a Senate subcommittee held a hearing about pornography toxicity in which they listened to the testimonies of experts such as Dr. Reisman, Dr. Layden, and Dr. Satinover. They were trying to show that pornography as it is presented in the internet cannot be included in the first amendment of the constitution.
Dr. Reisman said:
Thanks to the latest advances in neuroscience, we now know that emotionally arousing images imprint and alter the brain, triggering an instant, involuntary, but lasting, biochemical memory trail.
Once our neuro-chemical pathways are established they are difficult or impossible to delete. Erotic images also commonly trigger the viewer's "fight or flight" sex hormones producing intense arousal states that appear to fuse the conscious state of libidinous arousal with unconscious emotions of fear, shame, anger and hostility.
These media erotic fantasies become deeply imbedded, commonly coarsening, confusing, motivating and addicting many of those exposed.
How does this "brain sabotage" occur? Brain scientists tell us that "in 3/10 of a second a visual image passes from the eye through the brain, and whether or not one wants to, the brain is structurally changed and memories are created' we literally 'grow new brain' with each visual experience."
Children and others who cannot read can instantly decode and experience images ... .
Dr. Layden said:
"The internet is a perfect drug delivery system because you are anonymous, aroused and have role models for these behaviors," Layden said. "To have drug pumped into your house 24/7, free, and children know how to use it better than grown-ups know how to use it -- it's a perfect delivery system if we want to have a whole generation of young addicts who will never have the drug out of their mind."
She continues to say:
Pornography addicts have a more difficult time recovering from their addiction than cocaine addicts, since cocaine users can get the drug out of their system, but pornographic images stay in the brain forever.
Dr. Satinover said:
"Pornography really does, unlike other addictions, biologically cause direct release of the most perfect addictive substance," "That is, it causes (masturbation: seeking self sexual release instead), which causes release of the naturally occurring opioids. It does what heroin can't do, in effect."
Islamically there are two ways to deal with the issue:
Firstly: One of the goals of the Islamic law is to preserve and protect the intellect, theh brain and the mind. As we now know what happens to the brain when an image like the ones in question passes through the eyes, it goes to the brain and because it triggers the secretion of some (desireable hormones) it takes a life of its own in the brain. Special changes inside the brain are made to accommodate such images. They pop up sometimes at the wieredest times. They will somehow trigger certain intentions to act upon them. Don’t you think this is more dangerous than any drugs or alcohol one may become addicted to?Before any of that was a problem, Islam dealt with it directly.
Allah said in describing the believers: “And those who to their private parts they are protective; except from their wives or that which their right hand possessed. And whosoever seeks [a means of gratification] beyond that they are indeed the transgressors.”
Any way to satisfy your sexual desires other than marriage is forbidden in Islam. That is why Islam valued marriage and made it into a sacred contract. Allah called “al Mithaq al Ghaleedh” (the strong pact) because through marriage your wife becomes lawful for you to enjoy and nothing unpleasant will ever happen to your brain when you enjoy intimacy with your wife.
The Prophet (saw) said: “when one of you has relation with his wife he will be rewarded for it.” They said “O Messenger of Allah we satisfy our desire with our wives and yet get rewarded for it.” He said: “Indeed, don’t you see that if you satisfy your desire in haram you will be punished for it. Therefore if you do that with your wife you will be rewarded for it.”
Alhamdulillah for Islam and the purity of Islam.
One of the experts on the subject after mentioning the changes that happen to the human psyche watching such dirty sites he said: “that is why a special attention is turned into marriage (the healthy way of fulfilling one’s desire). It is exclusiveness and the closeness you feel with your wife that develop a healthy outlook on the process. It cause one to fall in love with his or her spouse.”
Subhana Allah,
Allah described our wives to us as a source of mercy and love. The physical aspect of the relationship is indeed integral to that mercy and love Allah has created for us in our wives wal hamdulillah.
Allah said: “
Now what happens if you start looking at dirty pictures and watching dirty movies? Your wife will not be same for you. Has she changed? No! it is you who changed. The same can also be said to the sisters who indulge in such activity. Your husband will never be good enough. There will be no more mercy or love. You will start to get bored with each other. Your mind has been poisoned.
The second aspect of prohibiting such behavior is that Allah (swt) has commanded the believers men and women to lower their gaze. Allah said:
“Say to the believers among the men to lower their gaze and to safeguard their private parts.”
“Say to the believers among the women to lower their gaze and to safeguard their private parts.”
Sheikh al Islam Ibn Taymiyyah said: “Lower the gaze is of two aspects the first is to abstain from looking at the private parts of others be they men or women. And the second aspect is to abstain from looking at anything that may arouse the desire.”
Sometimes you find men going to the gym and taking showers together or women taking showers or exercising with other women with their bodies barely covered. All of this is forbidden in Islam.
Jarir bin Abdellah said: “I asked the Messenger of Allah about the sudden look” He said: “turn your face.” Meaning: do not look at anything that may trigger the desire and the first sudden look is pardoned.
Second Khutbah:
Many young people who are not yet married may ask about what to do. The Messenger of Allah said: “O young people! If you are able to get married then do as it will protect you and help you to lower your gaze. But if you are not able then fast as it is a shield for you.”
The most dangerous thing a young man or woman can do before they get married is to experiment with their sexual desires. Pornography, illicit relationships, chatting online, having girlfriends and boyfriends beside being absolutely haram, will destroy your marriage in the future.
Protect yourself from that in order for you to have a healthy relationship with your wife or husband which will lead to a healthy offspring. Keep it precious and special. Let no one know you in that way except your wife or your husband. It will be the most enjoyable thing you will ever experience in this dunya.
The Propht (saw) asked his daughter Fatima (RAA: "What is best for women?" She said: "that she does not see men and that men do not see her."
He embraced her and said: "You are a part of your father."
The Messenger of Allah said:
This life is joy and the best of its joy is a pious woman.
A pious woman who kept herself for her husband and will never want it any other way.
Stay away from any chatting or facebook encounters. How would you like that your husband is known to all of your friends and how would you like that your wife is known to all of your friends? What have you left for each other if everything is there for everybody to fantasize about?